The Intersect

Are you bored with waiting for February to bring new Chuck? Randy at Nightly.Net has created a blueprint by which you can make your very own Chuck episodes:

CHUCK VERSUS EVERY EPISODE OF CHUCK

CHUCK: My head was turned into a supercomputer I can only access by accident. That makes me qualified for espionage.
SARAH: I have cleavage and guns.
CASEY: Grrrr.

[BUY MORE STAFF provides ten minutes of sitcom]

ADMIRAL DR. RUTH: Your next mission is to hoodwink some faceless villains nobody will remember an hour after the show ends. Please don’t let Chuck screw everything up.

[CHUCK screws everything up]

CHUCK: omg omg omg omg omg omg omg!
SARAH: We must win or the show’s status quo will change forever.
CASEY: Grrrrrrr.

[ELLE and CAPTAIN AWESOME kill time]

[GUEST STAR is surprise evil]

CHUCK: omg omg omg omg omg omg omg!
SARAH: The status quo is even more threatened now. Yes.
CASEY: RAAAAR.

[BUY MORE STAFF provides ten more minutes of sitcom]

[CHUCK saves day]

CHUCK: The hardened professional criminals are useless against my geek cred!
SARAH: The status quo is preserved. My home planet approves.
CHUCK: Can we Do It now?
SARAH: Unable to comply.
CASEY: Gr.

THE END.

I laughed so hard. It’s two in the morning on a Sunday, I’m not even drunk, and I laughed like an idiot. It’s funny because it’s so true. I love you, show. Never change.

Maybe, just maybe, the reason I haven’t posted my episode reaction to Chuck vs. Santa Claus is because I’m in denial that we’re on hiatus. More likely it’s a combination of holiday malaise, general inertia and real life interruptions, but deep denial sounds more melodramatically amusing.